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It’s been a while.

Not sure if anyone is checking up on here still, but hello!

I’ve started (and then subsequently abandoned) many blog posts. …

It’s been quite a few days since my last post.

To be fair, I have stared at this blank white page for those many days, trying to figure out what I should write about.

But I felt like I should post to let you know that I am alive! …

You have already forfeited your right into my thoughts and my life.
You have already removed yourself from this equation, and have left a void in its place.

Yet, somehow, surprisingly, I still have things to say. So I will yell them into this void that you created.


Reading over all these parts again, I realize that I’ve mentioned her in nearly every part. However, in the times of our relationship, while living under the same roof, she was never brought up in any of our conversations.

Pre-COVID, his work office was going through some renovations and his…

Ok, let’s resume!

He wanted to live together. My roommate was moving to San Francisco when our lease ended, so the timing really couldn’t be any better. The questions that I asked myself then, and now with the break-up, are these: Were we moving together due to the convenience? …

I think we need a little break today!

Did you know that I was once a band nerd?
I started playing piano when I was like 6, had a stint in violin in 5th grade, decided orchestra sucked, tried to learn the flute in 2 weeks so that I didn’t…

I’ve been struggling to write this next part because although it was over two years ago, it feels like I’m entering the final chapter, the one that leads to the ‘last’ heartbreak, the one that leads me to this very moment, sitting on my friend’s couch in Portland, watching Gilmore…

I’m a lone sea urchin, stuck at the bottom of this abyss, and I also happen to blend in since I am the same color as the abyss & evolution has taught me camouflage is important, but no one can see me to try to help get me out.


Oh man*, it’s been a rough 72 hours.

I am thankful to all the friends who have checked in, have sent virtual hugs and physical gifts, have texted to ask if I’ve eaten or slept. Without my support system, I don’t know what I’d do.

Love may not be interchangeable…

FYI, this is a continuation of my last post (ahem so if you haven’t read it I would maybe go back and read it).

Also, yeah I know I literally started this blog like an hour ago why am I already on the 3rd post don’t @ me.

Dear reader,


not sure what i'm doing here

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